Last week was another incredibly tumultuous week, both physically and emotionally. My training is going well although I think I may have hit a plateau, of sorts. I actually started gaining weight last week. Not a lot, only a few pounds, but you can't imagine how demoralizing it is to run 8 miles and then see 3 extra pounds pop up on the scale the next day. I guess my body is finally catching up with these crazy workouts so its time to get serious about the nutrition. Its a good wake up call, I really can't eat whatever I want, despite the thousands of calories my heart rate monitor is telling me that I am burning on a daily basis.
In other news, I went for my first routine mamogram last Monday. I turned 35 last month and as a birthday present my OB wrote me a script for a cholesterol test and a mamogram. Normally I wouldn't blog about something like this, but its all about cancer prevention so here goes. So the procedure itself went fine. Its a right of passage, I suppose, that all women go through - having your breasts (wo)manhandled by a total stranger and then pressed like pancakes between two metal plates. The lab tech at my doctor's office jokingly said I should prep for it by closing the freezer door on my boobs. Well, that was just about right. After the mamogram the tech told me I would get a written report in the mail, unless there was something abnormal, then I would get a phone call instead.
On Tuesday I got a message from the radiologist. I tried not to freak out when I heard the message, but over the next five minutes, the time it took me to call back and for the them to find my file, I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. Could I have breast cancer? Well, yes, I could. Its not some big news flash, its just the harsh reality of the world that we live in. Since Lindsay got cancer last year I promised myself that I would chill out, I would be more patient, more forgiving, more loving, that I would enjoy every single moment that I have with my beautiful children and my family. I thought that I made a lot of progress in these areas, but in those 5 minutes as I sat on the phone waiting, I realized that I have so very far to go.
So I am going back in on Tuesday for some more pictures. I called my OB and she said its routine, "They call lots of people back," she said, and then in the next breath, "Make sure to get in right away."
Later that day I learned that a guy I went to business school with got killed in Iraq, blown up by a suicide bomber. He was 38. On Wednesday a friend from high school posted on Facebook that her husband has Stage IV Melanoma, it has spread to his lungs. That can't be good. She has 3 kids, ages 2-11.
So this week I'm sort of on autopilot, numb from the emotions of the week. Before I know it I've run 6 or 7 miles or ridden 30 miles and the physical pain doesn't seem to bother me that much anymore.
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